Behind Closed Doors: Uncovering the Truth About Domestic Violence
Not much is heard about one of the biggest crimes in the United States: domestic violence. Domestic violence hotlines across the country receive approximately 20,800 calls every day. Statistics show that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been physically abused by an intimate partner, so it is an issue that affects everyone. Even children are impacted, as more than 15 million children witness domestic violence every year.
As you can see, domestic violence is more common than you may think. It is widespread and often goes unreported. It happens every day, accounting for 15% of all violent crimes.
Domestic violence is a cycle that involves three phases:
Prevention. This involves seeking out resources or finding safe shelter prior to a violent incident
Intervention. This involves taking immediate action after a violent incident has occurred
Post-intervention. This involves following up after any legal process has concluded.
The team at Ashley A. Andrews, APC, has an in-depth knowledge of these phases and can help you understand them so we can put forth the strongest defense possible.
What Does Domestic Violence Look Like?
Domestic violence encompasses a range of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over another person in an intimate or domestic relationship. It can take on many forms, such as the following:
Hitting, slapping, punching, or kicking
Pushing, shoving, or restraining
Strangulation or choking
Using weapons or objects to inflict harm
Preventing access to medical care
Constant criticism, insults, or humiliation
Gaslighting (manipulating someone into questioning their reality or memory)
Isolating the victim from friends and family
Threatening harm to the victim, their children, or pets
Intimidation through gestures, looks, or destroying personal items
Forcing sexual acts without consent
Coercing or pressuring the victim into sexual activity
Using sex as a tool for control or manipulation
Refusing to practice safe sex or sabotaging contraception
Controlling all household finances
Preventing the victim from working or accessing their own money
Running up debts in the victim’s name
Restricting access to basic necessities like food, shelter, or healthcare
Monitoring phone, email, or social media accounts.
Using GPS or tracking devices to stalk the victim.
Spreading rumors or explicit images online.
Sending excessive, threatening, or harassing messages.
Myths About Domestic Violence
Here are some common myths about domestic violence:
It only happens in poor or uneducated families. Domestic violence affects people across all socioeconomic, educational, and cultural backgrounds. Wealth and education do not protect someone from becoming a victim or perpetrator.
Only women experience domestic violence. While women are statistically more likely to experience domestic violence, men can also be victims. Domestic violence occurs in same-sex relationships as well, showing that it is not confined to one gender or sexual orientation.
Domestic violence only involves physical abuse. Abuse can take many forms, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and verbal abuse. Non-physical abuse can be just as harmful as physical violence.
Domestic violence must not be that bad if the victim doesn’t just leave. Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly challenging. Victims often face barriers such as fear of retaliation, financial dependence, emotional attachment, societal pressure, and lack of support.
Abusers are always angry or cruel. Abusers can appear charming and kind in public, making it difficult for others to see the abusive behavior. Many perpetrators maintain a facade of respectability.
Alcohol and drugs cause domestic violence. While substance abuse can exacerbate violent behavior, it does not cause domestic violence. Abusers often use substances as an excuse for their actions, but the underlying issue is their desire for power and control.
Counseling can fix domestic violence issues. Domestic violence is not a relationship problem — it’s an abuse problem. Counseling may not be safe or effective because it can give the abuser more opportunities to manipulate or control the victim.
Why Do Victims Stay?
The obvious answer to domestic violence is for the victim to just leave the situation, but it’s not that simple. The victim is being harmed, and they are also feeling fear, shame, and guilt about the situation.
It is difficult for a victim to admit to family and friends that the abuse is happening. The victim is also afraid of the abuser. They may be abused in multiple ways, and they may be afraid of facing retaliation by the abuser if they tell someone or try to leave the situation.
In fact, leaving or threatening to leave is the most dangerous time for victims. When interviewing men who killed their wives, they admitted that leaving or threats of leaving led to the murders. As you can imagine, a victim’s reason for staying in an abusive relationship primarily hinges on the possibility of the abuser seriously injuring or killing them, the children, or the pets.
What Can You Do to Help?
If a loved one is experiencing domestic violence, there are several things you can do to help them:
Keep them safe. Help your friend or family member develop a safety plan. If they decide to leave, help them get to a safe place. Help them get a protective order. If you witness abuse, report it right away. In an emergency situation, call 911.
Understand and listen. Understand what is happening and let the victim know they are not to blame. Listen to the victim and offer non-judgmental advice. Let them know you care.
Find resources. Help the victim find the information they need to stay safe and get out of their situation. Give them the contact information for domestic violence advocates. Domestic violence hotlines, crisis centers, and programs can all be helpful.
Contact Us Today
Domestic violence isn’t always treated as seriously as it should be. It is a serious crime that can cause great harm to partners and children.
Ashley A. Andrews, APC, is an Arcadia domestic violence attorney who can help you resolve the issue so your family stays safe. Our experienced attorneys specialize in handling all aspects of domestic violence cases, providing expert advice and legal counsel tailored to your individual needs. To schedule a consultation, fill out the online form or call (626) 346-0114.
This material is provided for educational purposes only. Providing this information does not establish an attorney/client relationship. None of the information contained in this post should be acted upon without first consulting with an experienced family law mediator and attorney. Should you have questions about the content of this post, please arrange to discuss via a consultation.