Untying the Knot: Practical Tips for a Smoother Divorce

In an ideal world, marriages would last forever. We would obey our wedding vows and stay married until death do us part. However, that vow is easier said than done.

Staying married is no easy task. By the 20-year mark, close to half of all marriages end in divorce. It is a sad but true reality. Untying the knot can be difficult, especially if you have children and have been married for a long time, but it can be done without too much drama. Amicable divorces are possible, but you and your spouse both have to cooperate and be willing to compromise and negotiate.

“Divorce” and “peaceful” are two words that you don’t typically see in the same sentence, but a peaceful divorce is possible. If your marriage is beyond repair, here are some tips for a smoother divorce.

Make Sure it is Final

Many people use the word “divorce” as a threat. Are you really sure you want to end your marriage? Divorce is a permanent course of action for dealing with marital struggles, so are you sure this is the best option? Is there anything else you can do to save your marriage? If not, then go ahead and proceed with divorce, but do not use the term lightly.

Communicate Openly

If you do decide to divorce, be open and honest. Try to discuss the elements of divorce together. Talking about asset division, child custody, spousal support, and other issues can alleviate tension and help you and your spouse work toward cooperation.

Be Respectful

Being respectful toward your spouse can be challenging, especially when there is infidelity, addiction, or other serious issues involved. You may be focused on seeking revenge, but instead, be the bigger person. Bitterness will only complicate the process and result in a lengthy court battle, so consider the ramifications before proceeding. Aim to remain civil throughout. Though this may be challenging, focus on your and your children’s long-term well-being.

Consider Mediation

Many couples cannot work things out on their own, and that is OK. But instead of thinking of divorce as a battle, work toward resolution. You can do so with help from divorce mediation. This is often a good alternative to courtroom proceedings. Mediation can be beneficial for preserving relationships, which is something you will want to consider if children are involved. It involves a mediator who serves as a neutral third party to help you and your spouse negotiate and compromise. 

Determine Your Goals

What do you want out of a divorce? Set specific and realistic goals for yourself. This will make you more inclined to make rational decisions in order to achieve those set goals. Get an idea of what you want so that you can negotiate and work toward it.

Don’t Keep Secrets

You should never conceal your assets. This is not only unethical but also highly illegal. Your attorney needs to know how to best serve you, so give them the essential information they need about your finances. Hire a divorce attorney you feel comfortable with. Withholding information from your lawyer is never a good idea. It could even backfire.

Get Organized

Do not count on your lawyer to do everything for you in a divorce. You should be willing to do some work to get paperwork organized and collect as many pertinent documents as possible. This will benefit both you and your lawyer. It will make your attorney’s job easier as well as cost you less in legal fees. It will also make the process smoother since you should know your financial situation better than anyone. 

Get Support

Divorce can bring a wide range of emotions. A support network of family, friends, or support groups can provide a safe space to express these feelings. This emotional support helps reduce feelings of isolation and provides comfort during this difficult time. Also, having a network is good for your mental health. Having a network that encourages you to seek professional help and focus on mental well-being can make a significant difference in healing and recovery.

Stay Off Social Media

Avoiding social media is a good idea when emotions run high and legal issues are at stake. Sharing too much personal information on social media can expose sensitive details about your case. This can lead to unwanted scrutiny or judgment from others, potentially complicating the situation further.

Posts on social media can be used as evidence in court. Statements, photos, or even seemingly innocent posts can be used against you in divorce proceedings, particularly if there are disputes over finances, child custody, or character. Posts that show irresponsible behavior, such as excessive partying or inappropriate comments, can be used to challenge your fitness as a parent.

Take Care of Yourself

Divorce is stressful, so prioritize your mental and physical health. Physical activity can boost your mood, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being. Eat nourishing, balanced meals that support your energy and emotional health. Prioritize getting adequate sleep to maintain emotional balance and physical health.

Take this time to rediscover your interests, hobbies, and passions. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s learning something new, spending time in nature, or pursuing creative projects. Establish a routine. Create a daily or weekly routine that includes time for work, self-care, socializing, and relaxation.

Contact Us Today

Divorce does not have to be combative and nasty. You can opt for a compassionate divorce and focus on the emotional well-being of yourself and your family.

When you partner with us at Ashley A. Andrews, APC, for family law representation, you can count on being fully informed about all aspects of your case throughout every stage of litigation. We will help you divorce with less stress and conflict and look forward to a positive future. Contact us online or call (626) 385-4544 today for more information or to get started on your legal matter.